namek the true story by bulma briefs
by bimbo and ditz
Summary: this is a diary fic whitch is written by bulma,it has a lot of b/v in it please r/r thanks


Namek- The True story! A diary by Bulma Briefs.  
Disclaimers: we own nothing! This is completely unofficial and made up from our minds! Please R/R. Please also bear in mind that this is a one-shot thanks! You can also check out our other 2 Fics, 'Karaoke Klassics' and 'Cheeky Prince Charming' they are loads better than this! Especially if you like B/V fics like us! Hope you enjoy!  
  
This is a diary of which Bulma wrote on Namek behind the scenes and is completely unofficial but oh well! It's worth a look!  
Nov 9th  
  
We've finally arrived on Planet Namek, it's a lot like Earth, and there are flowers, trees water, Suns, moons. Everything a girl could need to relax! But the guys on this planet are so typical; I was in serious shock when I heard there are no girls at all on this dumb planet! And worse than that no malls, no entertainment (NO FUN!) Help me! I'm now about to go have a shower and get changed into my bikini and do a spot of tanning! It's so hot on this planet! I can tell this is going to be a long day....  
Nov 14th  
  
I am starting to die of boredom slowly very slowly, I haven't talked to anybody for over 24 hours and I'm running out of lip balm, don't tell anybody though especially Piccolo! But that Sayan that came to kill everybody on Earth. He isn't half as bad as everybody thinks- and he's a good kisser! I might as well forget about that loser Yamcha, I mean Vegeta; he's got everything a girl could want. I guess he was just as bored as me because we kind of bumped into each other and something clicked. The next second we were snogging each others brains out. Well ok I did shorten that bit quite a lot as you guessed! I really want to see what all the other girls on Earth think about that! I'm not only the richest girl on the planet but I also got off with a Sayan prince!. He has the nicest blue eyes and the sweetest smile. I actually think I am falling for him properly.. Krillin and Gohan are such geeks, as if you don't know that already! They've made friends with this local Namek kid who calls himself Dende, I'd settle for a night with Vegeta anytime!..... Anyway where was I, oh yeah, that rude little brat wouldn't eat any of my cooking I mean its not that bad is it? Although I have to admit the cake did get a little overcooked, but at least it wasn't undercooked! I've found some lip balm in the bathroom of the Capsule house. (Thanks mum you're a life saver!) I've now gone through 3 cans of hairspray, 2 pots of lip balm, half a bottle of nail varnish remover and the nail polish to go along with that! And loads of toiletries and deodorants and stuff! Today I managed to fix up a new invention I've been working on. I call it 'the air buggy' so tomorrow I'll probably go someplace and explore. I don't care what that stupid little monk Krillin and his apprentice Gohan say they shouldn't leave me here alone. I'm now going to try and get in my usual trend, I have a shower, blow dry my hair and get my beauty sleep.  
Nov 15th  
  
I got woken up last night so I'm really knackered today, I can't really say I was grumpy because the only reason I was woken up was because that cute little Sayan prince was tapping at my window at gone mid night. Apparently he had lost his space ship remote control thingy and he said that if he went to this guy called Freeza he would be destroyed, so what else could I do? I let him stay with me; don't tell anybody but it was me that hid up his remote. Shhhhh! It was when we were kissing I nicked it out of his pocket and stored it in Krillins room, I guessed he would come here and try to stay with me and my little plan worked Hee Hee! I'm so devilish aren't I? We didn't exactly get much sleep all we did was kiss last night. It was great! That was until that evil green Namek Piccolo came in, he marched right into my room, I should have got Vegeta to blow him up there on the spot, but instead I hid him under my bed, Vegeta swore a bit when he got up but then we started kissing again that shut him up! Apparently Piccolo could hear us! So that's what his ears are for I thought they were there to help him keep his balance or something. Whoops! Hee Hee.  
  
Anyway that dumb Namek didn't even think twice that Vegeta was involved, until the next morning Gohan found us laying knackered out on my bed, we were both sound asleep as well, and that little sod thought he was so smart. He took a picture of us. What right does he have! I just resolved the matter by getting Vegeta to beat him up until he gave us the picture. My little prince was only too happy to do this, I couldn't blame him either I was actually laughing at the picture afterwards. Vegeta had on a pair of smiley face boxers and me my silky pink night dress. I had the cover and was practically on top of him, it was just a good job I'm such a light sleeper! I woke up just in time because Gohan was laughing to himself that taught the little nerd! Vegeta had a little smile on his face as if to say more, more give me more!  
  
I can't believe Piccolo he found my air-buggy- now I cant go exploring he smashed it up because of what me and Vege had done that night, he only found out because Gohan grassed us up! And that great big over sized frog believed him over me, just because he trained him! Piccolo had no right to, if I got Vegeta to hurt him he'd probably either die, so we wouldn't be able to use the dragon balls or tell some guy who works for Freeza where Vegeta is so I decided not to argue. After Vegeta and Gohan's ordeal they seemed to get on a little better I actually saw them playing computer games together. But I sort of 'distracted' Vegeta by kissing him and giving him a back rub! Yep I was right Gohan, Piccolo and Krillin flew off again. Vegeta went off with them that time so I decided to use the time wisely. I phoned up my mum and dad, had a shower and made myself smell nice, I had to impress Vegeta or he might have gone off me although he could use a little more shower gel himself. Then I wrote this date in my diary. I'd set up Vege's bed on the sofa although I had my doubts he'd use it- probably just sleep with me in my bed again! (Hopes) I don't mind he can keep me warm again if he wants!  
Nov 16th + 17th  
  
I cuddled up with Vegeta again that night but when I woke up Vege was freezing cold so I got another blanket an covered him up with it, I kissed him again but he just ignored me and went back to sleep. Charming I thought, but when I woke up the next morning I found out why it turned out he had gotten the flu. All that day and the next I had to force him to stay in bed with great girl force, I found out a good way to keep a Sayan like Vege to listen to me was to snog him until he can't breathe and then snog him some more. I really regret doing it now because I feel a little bad- knowing my luck I'm going to get it as well. Piccolo is really getting peed off because I sort of let Vegeta with us without his 'permission' but I mean its not like he's my parents- not that I listen to them, and its not his Capsule house either my dad invented it! That Dende kid has basically moved in his with baldy and mummy's boy all the time, I don't really care that much though because I'm with Vegeta most of the time anyway but that's not the point! I'm going to go have a shower try and make myself feel a little better. Maybe after I'll make some tea- I fancy noodles at the moment, I expect Vegeta will be hungry, he is most of the time- I really hope Goku gets here soon he's supposed to be bringing my extra makeup kit and supplies that I left behind. I hope he brings some more soap powder as well! Or I'm going to have to just wash my clothes with water! More hard work!  
Nov 22nd  
  
Goku's here! He came at last but that great big fool forgot to bring my makeup case! When I heard this I flipped, Vegeta sprawled himself across the floor and was laughing his head off, Because you see I sort of jumped onto Goku's back and wouldn't let go- I felt that nothing could get worse until I felt dizzy and really cold I knew exactly what was wrong. I had caught the flu off Vege! He actually found this really amusing as he knew that the only way I had caught it was off him. I will never forget Goku's face when he first found out about me and Vegeta being one, I don't think he knew whether to laugh or start screaming at me, or maybe even slap me stupid and scream at me. But he didn't he was obviously in deep shock but just tried not to show it.  
Nov 24th  
  
I'm better now, although I'm still tired- Vegeta's to blame again! At least I'm not stuck in bed all day, still I cant believe that great ugly Namek smashed up my air buggy. My hair feels really greasy now I feel like I have put on a tub of butter and spread it as if my hair was a sandwich. It wasn't my fault! Vegeta and me sort of got into a fight I had shampoo and him conditioner. I won! But that was only because we used up every single hair product I owned. The Nameks are really weird- they don't eat only drink, well that's what Piccolo said anyway and I guess he should know because he is one of them. I am secretly really scared of Piccolo but I know it's strange, because Vegeta is 10 million times stronger than him but I'm not scared of him a single bit. I'm going to do a spot of sun tanning I'm building up quite a nice tan actually! Maybe I'll read a magazine to pass the time, I could actually write like this all the time but I'm afraid if I do the chances are this pen will run out and I wont be able to write anything on the other days. So I'm going to have to stop here for now unless some thing major big or interesting happens on this boring planet which I very much doubt!  
Nov 25th  
  
I'm back to my normal trend, get up at about 9-00 am have a shower or bath or something to pass the time then after that attempt to get in touch with civilisation. Then have another shower or a swim, get changed ready for bed and sort out my makeup then sleep at around 10-30 pm. (of course I do eat and drink during the day.) All the guys have gone off to find the dragon balls before this Freeza guy gets hold of them, they are supposed to be away for a couple of days! What am I supposed to do! Talk to myself!!!!  
Nov 30th  
  
I've only got one word to put and I'll spell it out for you B-O-R-E-D!  
Nov 31st  
  
Vegeta woke me up today at about 8-00 am he'd just gotten back and he had accidentally on purpose blown up the microwave, it was actually the aroma that filled the capsule house that woke me up but it was his fault! So I'll blame him for my grumpiness, apparently he was hungry and him and the others hadn't eaten anything edible in days. See my enthusiasm No surprises! Aren't Sayans always 'hungry' or if their feeling extra dramatic 'dieing of starvation.' Obviously Vegeta was in a mega dramatic mood, he had attempted to cook a microwave chicken curry, but the typical Sayan he is he couldn't be bothered to read the instructions. So he shoved the boxes in the microwave. It was one of those extra big family boxes so he was cooking for us 'both' only 1 problem I don't like that sort of chicken curry. It's too hot, that curry was actually Goku's mine was the micro chicken wings and chips. But you can't blame a Sayan for trying! The bone head didn't pierce holes in the packet and just turned the microwave on full for ten minutes. Well that was alright at least it was on microwave not grill, but the box on the front in bold writing you cant miss it said CHICKEN CURRY MADE READY IN 90 SECONDS! ON A FULL POWERED MICROWAVE!!! Vegeta ate it, I just sat and watched him, whilst I was doing this I noticed that his eyes were the cutest eyes I had ever seen and he also had the smallest sweetest nose, and I don't really know what to say about his mouth well I can actually, Its small but who ever said small was quiet were totally wrong and had obviously not met Vege! Once he had consumed the whole thing he gave me 'the look' that's what I call it anyway. He put on a pouty mouth and said to me "ice cream" So we went to the freezer and pulled it out. We scoffed more than ten full pots of this French stuff my mum insisted upon having as It was 6 percent fat free. I'm sure it was but I don't really think that counts for eating over 15 litres of the stuff- make a note I didn't eat it all infact Vege ate about 14 of the litres. Then we sat down on the couch and watched some TV, I cuddled up to him and he squeezed me back and I felt like the luckiest girl alive we both ended up falling asleep on the couch that night anyway because Piccolo had a run in with some of the guys who work for Freeza and got himself beaten up, So Gohan without my permission used my water bed as a hospital bed unfair or what! Oh well Vegeta made me feel better...  
Dec 15th  
  
I'm starting to think about Xmas now, there's no way that I can possibly be home with mum and dad and there is also no chance for snow! Namek doesn't have winters its always summer! So I guess I have to spend my holiday on this boring planet with nothing to do, I could really crave some turkey.. I really need something edible to eat, or I'm going to go insane. I'm looking after Vegeta again at the moment he used up all his power blowing up this guy called Zarbon I must admit he was quite cute until he transformed.. He still wasn't anything to even get near rivalling with Vegeta though! Poor Vege he was quite beaten too, but if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be alive right now, I now going to stop writing this now and make a fuss over Vege again. Goku's gone off to fight that Freeza guy and I expect that Vegeta will go too he really cant stand Goku being in the spot light for very long, I just hope he doesn't get hurt.  
Dec 22nd  
  
I really wish I was a Sayan now! It's not fair, I want to be able to blow up stuff and fly and.. Well is the ultimate race in the universe but no.. I'm stuck being a boring human and I can't do any of that stuff it's just not fair! Perhaps I could wish on the dragon balls to be a Sayan! But if I do that would I lose my intelligence because I don't mean anything to Goku or Vegeta but they are both as thick as bricks but I must say Gohan obviously doesn't inherit his brains off his dads side- apparently he wants to be a scientist when he's older I guess I might have some rivalry later on, although no one is even close or will ever be close to matching my great brains! Oh yeah Goku didn't fight Freeza in the end! All that and it turns out Freeza's off Namek for a while and is coming back in a couple of weeks time, he's left his men here to gather the dragon balls then he's coming back later.  
Dec 25th  
  
Merry Xmas! NOT! Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo and Dende have all buggered off and left Vegeta with me. He also wanted to go find the last ball dragon ball with them but he lost the game of rock paper scissors with Krillin. So he has to stay and guard the rest of the Dragon balls so I decided to fix up some mistletoe, that idiot had never seen some before though.. so he didn't realise until after I snogged him what it meant, I don't believe how much foreign channels there are in space with the satellite dish we can pick up over 5 million stations but about 4 million of those are in some alien language I personally like watching the shopping channels but Vegeta likes the cartoons same as Gohan and Goku, Krillin watches weird stuff like aliens and monsters, whilst Piccolos such a boring freak who seems afraid of the TV but what can I say he's a Namek. I can tell this guy is going to be like the rest a very lazy day!  
Dec 27th  
  
All the guys have gone off to fight Freeza so now I'm not being babysat by one of them at last I can go off and explore. It isn't As good as my last invention that piccolo smashed but it should get me about, it's a bike that hovers its really quite comfy. I put on my gear and headed off, on the way, I met this cutish little frog it was ugly but then again it's a frog what do you expect? That stupid little green shit turned out to be this guy called Ginu. A guy that can change bodies with people and yeah you guessed it, he turned me into a frog and stole my body! Its mine there should be laws against that sort of thing. He rode off on my bike too! I gave up that I would never see my body again and I would die a frog that was until Gohan found me! That kid isn't as dumb as his dad no where even close, they found Ginu in my body and turned him back into this little rodents body I mean green is so not my colour! Now I'm back to my normal self! Vegeta is really like some sort of posh kid he ran after the little frog but didn't splat it because his exact word were "I don't want to get my new suit all dirty" What sort of warrior says that! That night I didn't want to leave his strong arms though. I don't know why I guess it was just some sort of feeling a intuition. Oh yeah incase you were wondering the guys did go off to fight Freeza but stopped for a 'rest break' that was when my saviour Gohan came and saved me. Apparently it was because they got lost and because Vegeta smashed up his scouter thingy, because he thought he was being smart because he could sense power levels but Freeza was hiding his power level down so they got lost! I really think it was an excuse so they could sleep and doss. But you know maybe they really did get lost their big enough idiots too. Anyway back to me, I'm back and that loser Ginu used my wrong mascara he didn't use the water proof one! Vege told me that he was gay, not Vegeta! But Ginu and apparently so was that Zarbon guy. Vegeta also that the whole of the ginu force is cross dressers, especially the red one Jeice, well they were that was until Vegeta and Goku blew them all up! Still I'm back in the Capsule house now and I've just had my shower, brushed my teeth and I'm about to get into bed. I wonder if Vege's going to sleep with me in my king size water bed or on the sofa! NOT! He's only slept their once! And that was when piccolo was using my bed!  
Dec 28th  
  
Today has been a really weird day I'm warning you! The guys left really early this morning- about 7-00 am to be exact. (OK so maybe to some of you lot out there it isn't really early but to me and ditz its hell! We are defiantly late risers!) They were going to fight Freeza they left me and Dende behind. Just as Vegeta was going to go, he kissed me really nicely and sweetly on my lips it felt like the nicest one had ever gave me, he also whispered in my ear "I think you're the most stupid ugliest thing I have ever gone out with but I love you! And wont ever forget you even if I don't come back..." he said in a teasing voice. He was tired as well but he tried not to show it. He was usually the one who was still asleep even after I wake up and that's late! I hope Goku and Vegeta can kill this Freeza guy so I can go home. Its been months since I've seen mum and dad and my makeup bags.., and the shops..., and the... I'd better stop or I'm going to have an emotional break down, Vegeta the love of my life... he died... It was that Freeza scum bag, but I didn't even know until after because he was bought back again by the dragon balls along with everybody else after Goku defeated Freeza. We then used the dragon balls to transport everybody to Earth because Planet Namek got destroyed in the process of Goku getting Freeza! My diary was in my pocket luckily! So it got saved too, You don't know how happy I was to see Vegeta again but Goku wasn't there... Poor Gohan took it really hard I couldn't blame him though but I just have that feeling that he's coming back home to us.  
Jan 12th  
  
I have about 100 Nameks living in my back yard temporarily, and a Sayan prince.. Living inside permanently! He's now training himself really hard so he can become a Super Sayan like Goku, He came back! Yesterday! Everybody was so happy! It was brilliant! Yamcha is now living in a cheapo flat all by himself! Ha! Serves his own right for going off with all those girls. He was so gutted when I told him about me and Vegeta; I loved every minute of telling him!!!! I know evil aren't I? I'm going to leave this diary for good now! Because I'm back on Earth ahhhhh, Earth it feels good to say it, makeup, pizza, the lot! Hopefully soon those dragon balls will work again so we can send all the Nameks to another Planet and live me and Vegeta in peace!  
  
THE END!  
  
Disclaimers: So how did you like that short diary fic? We've never done one of those before so please be nice and spare us! Remember please review and tell us what you think, and check out of 2 fics 'Cheeky prince charming' and 'karaoke klassics' We hope to hear from you people soon. If you like it please say so we know whether to make any more diary fics but by different people? What do you want to see in our fics give us a hand so we can help you guys like them more! Thanks for R/R ing if you have hope you like all our fics! 


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